Summary

Here’s a summary and key takeaways of what you’ve learned in this chapter. To deepen your understanding, additional reading resources are available that expand on this topic.

Marriage is a living relationship, shaped not by a single moment of commitment but by a series of stages that unfold across the lifespan. Rita DeMaria and Sari Harrar, in their book The 7 Stages of Marriage (2006), describe a developmental path that helps couples understand where they are, what challenges to expect, and how to move forward with strength and resilience. Each stage has its own character, its own risks, and its own opportunities for growth, making marriage a journey of adaptation rather than a static institution.

The first stage, the Passion Stage, reflects the excitement of romantic love and the honeymoon phase. Couples at this point are swept up in affection, novelty, and intimacy, often unaware that deeper work awaits. The Realization Stage follows, where idealization fades and differences become clear. Here, couples begin to face power struggles, negotiation of roles, and the sobering recognition that love requires deliberate effort. The third stage, the Rebellion Stage, often introduces identity conflicts as partners struggle to balance individuality with unity. While destabilizing, this stage allows couples to clarify boundaries and redefine what partnership means.

If navigated well, couples enter the Cooperation Stage, marked by teamwork, mutual support, and the building of practical structures that sustain daily life. This sets the foundation for the Reunion Stage, a rediscovery of intimacy and companionship after seasons of conflict or distance. Yet even the most united couples encounter the Explosion Stage, when major life transitions—such as illness, financial strain, or family upheaval—test the durability of the marital bond. Those who persevere reach the Completion Stage, a season of mature love where reflection, shared legacy, and enduring commitment dominate.

Taken together, these stages remind couples that marriage is not a smooth continuum but a dynamic process of change. Struggles are not signs of failure but indicators of growth, pointing couples toward new skills and deeper resilience. By embracing each stage with openness and intentionality, partners can transform challenges into milestones on the path to lasting love.

Key Takeaways

• The seven stages of marriage (DeMaria & Harrar, 2006) provide a roadmap for understanding marital growth.
• The Passion Stage captures the excitement of early romance but cannot sustain itself without deeper work.
• The Realization and Rebellion Stages highlight the emergence of conflict and identity struggles, which can strengthen or weaken bonds.
• The Cooperation and Reunion Stages emphasize teamwork, rediscovery, and renewed intimacy.
• The Explosion Stage tests marriages through external crises, while the Completion Stage celebrates maturity, reflection, and legacy.

Reading Resources

Books

• DeMaria, R., & Harrar, S. (2006). The 7 Stages of Marriage: Laughter, Intimacy, and Passion Today, Tomorrow, Forever. Reader’s Digest Association.
• Bader, E., & Pearson, P. (1988). In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy. Brunner/Mazel.
• Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
• Carter, B., & McGoldrick, M. (2015). The Expanded Family Life Cycle: Individual, Family, and Social Perspectives (5th ed.). Pearson.
• Markman, H. J., Stanley, S. M., & Blumberg, S. L. (2015). Fighting for Your Marriage (3rd ed.). Jossey-Bass.

Journals

• Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (1995). The longitudinal course of marital quality and stability: A review of theory, methods, and research. Psychological Bulletin, 118(1), 3–34.
• Huston, T. L., Niehuis, S., & Smith, S. E. (2001). The early marital trajectory: Commitment and changes in marital happiness across the first years. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80(2), 237–252.
• Lavner, J. A., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2014). Newlyweds’ stressful experiences and trajectories of marital satisfaction. Journal of Family Psychology, 28(1), 153–162.
• Stanley, S. M., Rhoades, G. K., & Whitton, S. W. (2010). Commitment: Functions, formation, and the securing of romantic attachment. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 2(4), 243–257.
• Fowers, B. J., & Olson, D. H. (1992). ENRICH marital satisfaction scale: A brief research and clinical tool. Journal of Family Psychology, 6(1), 65–75.

Online Articles

• ForYourMarriage.org. (2020). The 7 Stages of Marriage. Retrieved from https://www.foryourmarriage.org
• The Gottman Institute. (2021). Marriage is a journey: Navigating the stages together. Retrieved from https://www.gottman.com
• Institute for Family Studies. (2022). Marital development across the lifespan: Lessons from research. Retrieved from https://ifstudies.org
• American Psychological Association. (2020). Understanding the stages of marriage and relationship growth. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org
• Focus on the Family. (2020). Building resilience through life’s transitions in marriage. Retrieved from https://www.focusonthefamily.com

Carry these takeaways with you into your next steps. The resources offered are optional, but they’re deeply enriching if you choose to explore them.