To effectively apply the principles covered in Module 2, couples should engage in guided exercises that encourage self-reflection, communication, and proactive boundary-setting. These practical activities will help couples strengthen their in-law relationships while maintaining a strong marital foundation.

Exercise 1: In-Law Relationship Mapping

Objective:

To identify and understand the current dynamics of in-law relationships and create a strategy for strengthening or improving them.

Instructions:

1. Individually, take 10 minutes to write down the key relationships in your in-law family structure (e.g., mother-in-law, father-in-law, siblings-in-law, grandparents).
2. Next to each person’s name, describe the current relationship using one of the following labels:

• • Supportive (strong and positive relationship)
  • Neutral (polite but distant relationship)
  • Challenging (conflict-prone, boundary issues, or strained communication)

1. Discuss your lists together as a couple, comparing your perspectives on each family member.
2. For any challenging relationships, brainstorm one or two ways to improve interactions or establish firmer boundaries.
3. For neutral relationships, discuss whether you want to strengthen them or maintain healthy distance.
4. For supportive relationships, identify ways to show appreciation and nurture those positive connections.

Reflection Questions:

• Were there any surprises in how you or your spouse perceive certain in-law relationships?
• Do any relationships require immediate boundary-setting or deeper discussion?
• What steps can be taken to reduce conflicts or misunderstandings with in-laws?

Exercise 2: Setting Boundaries Role-Play

Objective:

To practice assertive and respectful boundary-setting with in-laws through real-life scenarios.

Instructions:

1. Each partner chooses a challenging situation they have faced (or anticipate facing) with an in-law.
2. Take turns playing the in-law while the other spouse practices setting a boundary in a calm, respectful manner.
3. Try different approaches, using direct but firm communication.
4. After each role-play, discuss:

• • What felt comfortable about the response?
  • What could be improved?
  • How would this play out in real life?

Example Scenarios:

• An in-law keeps offering unsolicited parenting advice.
• A mother-in-law expects weekly visits, but you want more couple time.
• A father-in-law pushes financial advice you are not comfortable following.
• An in-law makes passive-aggressive comments about your spouse.

Key Takeaways:

• Assertive communication is more effective than avoidance.
• Setting boundaries does not mean being rude—it is about reinforcing respect.
• Practicing responses in advance helps reduce anxiety when real-life situations arise.

Exercise 3: Spousal Loyalty Discussion

Objective:

To ensure that both partners feel supported when in-law conflicts arise.

Instructions:

1. Individually, write down one or two situations where you felt unsupported by your spouse in dealing with in-laws.
2. Take turns explaining how the situation made you feel and what you needed from your spouse at that moment.
3. As a couple, discuss ways to:

• • Ensure mutual support and defense in future in-law conflicts.
  • Develop a strategy for handling disagreements about in-laws.
  • Establish a response system for in-law criticism (e.g., standing up for each other in real-time).

1. Commit to a joint loyalty pledge, reinforcing that the marriage takes priority over external family influences.

Discussion Questions:

• In what areas do we need to improve in terms of defending and supporting each other?
• What specific phrases or actions would make us feel more protected?
• How can we ensure that our in-laws see us as a unified team?

Exercise 4: Family Traditions and Cultural Differences Discussion

Objective:

To explore each spouse’s family traditions, values, and expectations, ensuring that cultural differences do not create future conflicts.

Instructions:

1. Each partner writes down:

• • Three important family traditions they grew up with.
  • Any specific expectations their family has about marriage, gender roles, parenting, or religion.
  • Any past culture-related conflicts with in-laws.

1. Take turns sharing and explaining these traditions and expectations.
2. Discuss areas of alignment and differences, asking:

• • Which traditions should be maintained in our marriage?
  • Where can we blend customs to create our own family traditions?
  • How do we handle conflicts in family expectations?

1. Write down three new family traditions you want to establish as a couple that honors both backgrounds while maintaining independence.

Example Outcomes:

• Alternating holiday celebrations between both families.
• Setting clear expectations about financial support to extended family.
• Deciding how religious traditions will be practiced in your own household.

Exercise 5: The In-Law Communication Agreement

Objective:

To create a communication agreement on how to handle in-law relationships and conflicts as a couple.

Instructions:

1. Together, answer the following questions:

• • How often should we communicate with our in-laws (calls, visits, gatherings)?
  • What boundaries should be non-negotiable?
  • How will we respond if an in-law criticizes or disrespects one of us?
  • Who will handle which types of conversations with in-laws? (e.g., wife speaks to her parents, husband speaks to his).
  • How will we handle situations where one partner feels uncomfortable with an in-law request?

1. Write out your communication agreement in clear, simple language.
2. Sign and commit to it as a shared guideline for handling future in-law interactions.

Example Agreement:
📜 “As a couple, we will ensure that all major in-law interactions are discussed and agreed upon together. We will set firm but respectful boundaries when needed, present a united front, and always prioritize our marriage over external pressures. If conflicts arise, we will address them privately as a couple before confronting in-laws together.”

Exercise 6: Conflict-Resolution Simulation

Objective:

To practice resolving a real or hypothetical in-law conflict as a couple.

Instructions:

1. Choose an in-law conflict that has happened or could realistically happen.
2. One spouse plays the in-law, and the other plays themselves.
3. Engage in a calm and respectful conversation about the issue.
4. Switch roles so each spouse practices handling the situation.
5. Discuss what worked well and what could be improved.
6. Develop a final response strategy based on the best approach.

Example Scenarios:

• An in-law keeps pressuring you to have children soon.
• A mother-in-law expects daily check-ins from her son, making the wife feel ignored.
• A father-in-law offers unwanted financial advice and criticizes spending habits.

This exercise helps couples feel prepared, confident, and united when facing real-life in-law challenges.

Final Thoughts on Practical Exercises

Successfully managing in-law relationships requires a combination of communication, boundary-setting, and strategic compromise. These exercises provide actionable steps that help couples:

✔ Develop self-awareness about their in-law dynamics.
✔ Strengthen spousal unity and loyalty in the face of external family challenges.
✔ Practice assertive communication and boundary enforcement.
✔ Find respectful ways to integrate into each other’s families.
✔ Create long-term strategies for handling in-law conflicts peacefully.

By completing these exercises together, couples can reduce stress, build confidence, and reinforce their commitment to each other—ensuring that in-law relationships support, rather than weaken, their marriage.